I work in a high-rise skyscraper in downtown Chicago, Illinois. The Men’s Restroom is shared by all the men on our floor in typical commercial office building fashion. Recently I noticed that the toilet paper rolls had a new little label on them as seen here:

Toilet Paper Rolls

If you take the time to read the label this is what is says:

“Help Reduce Waste Of Our Natural Resources, Please Use The Other Roll First. Thank You.”

Here is a close-up for your verification:

The toilet paper roll label that I just don't understand!

Now, I don’t get this. How does using one roll before starting the next one “Reduce Waste Of Our Natural Resources?” The building janitorial service comes into the restroom at least twice a day to fill empty toilet paper rolls because they are all used up. The same amount of toilet paper is used either way. Who cares which roll is used first, or if one is finished before the other? Where is the waste?

It seems to me that there is more waste created by printing up thousands of little white labels with adhesive backing, using green ink (get it, “GREEN” ink!) than in just leaving well enough alone! Hasn’t anyone thought about the additional trees it took to produce the labels, and the chemicals required in making the ink and the adhesives?

I am just as concerned about our environment and energy shortages as the next person. But, can we have a little more sanity about it? I mean, it takes huge amounts of energy and resources to produce a hybrid, energy efficient automobile. Has anyone ever asked if the energy used to make the car “energy efficient” is ever “saved” by the few extra miles per gallon it gets on the highway? We need to be asking about the NET energy and environmental impact on the ideas we dream up, BEFORE we implement them as policy or as a product! Consumers need to be asking and demanding answers to the NET effect of green technologies.

I used to work with a nuclear physicist from Argonne National Laboratory in the late 70′s and early 80′s named Dr. John Martin. We would sit at lunch and talk about these issues and “do the math” on the so called “energy savings” of various high-tech answers to the energy crisis. Invariably it would not take long to see that there is actually a NET energy loss or a negative environmental impact on most of the things people dream up… as illustrated by this toilet paper “green” label. This was not the case with most “low-tech” approaches or with conservation measures.

In closing, why is every word on the green label capitalized and why is there a comma at the end of “Resources?”? If you’re going to add waste and negative environmental impact, you might as well do it with correct grammar.