3 Years Ago Today

Steve Meyer Leading an Oak Park Republican Event

Steve Meyer Leading an Oak Park GOP Event

3 years ago today, I lost one of my best friends. His name was Steve Meyer and he was the Republican Committeeman for Oak Park Township. I was joking with Steve’s father this morning at church, that Steve probably has all the Republican’s in heaven fully engaged in the support of the McCain-Palin ticket!

Steve’s favorite political figure was Ronald Reagan. There are enough similarities between Ronald and John that it is not hard to claim Steve’s support of John McCain and Sarah Palin.

I will always remember Steve as a tireless worker in the political process. Steve loved the United States of America and the freedoms that we enjoy. He felt that we should all do our part and be involved in the process in order to preserve and protect those freedoms. Steve had lots of friends – both Republican and Democrat, Christian and non-Christian, yet Steve got along with everyone… even when there were political disagreements.

Steve was a big believer in yard signs! By this stage of a political campaign, there would be hundreds of homes and businesses in Oak Park showing support of the McCain-Palin ticket with blue yard and window signs. Some businesses would even have the big 4×8 signs! The fact there are very few signs in Oak Park lets me know Steve is no longer here. Perhaps he is carrying on the tradition in heaven! :-)

It’s tough losing a friend. It’s even harder for his parents, sister, wife and children. Our lives go on and we do the best we can, and remember our friend, husband, father, son, brother. We remember the good times, the positive memories, the things about Steve that inspired us, and we contemplate the weaknesses, failures and shortcomings, knowing that Steve was human like the rest of us.

Steve was not terribly complicated. What you saw was what you got – genuine and unpretentious. He let you know where he stood and where you stood. If you were straight with him, he would respect you and get along. If you happened to be one of the luckier ones who happened to strike him in a positive way, he would become your deep and lasting friend.

Steve had a battle with a form of cancer that could have killed him… it was an incurable type of lymphoma… yet he beat that disease for awhile and was cancer free when he died. He struggled more with deeper fears and issues of the heart and mind. Eventually, these issues got the best of him. Even though his choice of death was wrong, tragic and very painful to many people, I am confident that Steve is with the One he had committed his life to some years before.

Steve knew he had “issues.” He battled them and faced into them at different times, and he had some great times of success. Who can say what brought him to his end? None of us knew his mind at that instant, and we can only guess. He was in pain and he was mixed up, and he was confused. I’ve been there as well. There’s no way to “figure it all out.”

What I take away and learn from Steve and his life are valuable lessons to me: Be yourself and try to be better. Work and fight hard for the things you believe in. Treat others you disagree with politically with respect. Thank God for your freedom. Respect and honor those who have paid the price for that freedom. Love God. Love people. Serve and help others less fortunate. Do a good job. And, if I ever get cancer, fight hard and don’t give up!

Steve, you were a good man, and a good friend. Rest in the arms of your Savior. I miss you, but it’s not over. I’ll see you again!

One Year Reflections on Steve

Steve Meyer and Randy BirkeyIt has now been just over a year since I lost one of my best friends – Steve Meyer. He took his own life on September 14, 2005. I miss him.

About 2 months ago, I started talking with his wife Robin, and his sister Carol, about the possibility of a family and friends gathering to celebrate Steve’s life, to honor his memory and to share what he meant to us.

This event was held at our home and yard this past Saturday, September 16th. We had beautiful weather to be out in the backyard, and maybe 50-70 people came over the course of the time from 3 PM – 10 PM.

At one point around 6 PM, we had asked another friend of ours, Wayne Kuna, to share some thoughts from God’s Word, and to facilitate an open time of sharing stories and memories.

Wayne shared three main points about God’s character related to us and to Steve:

  • TEARS: It’s OK to shed a few. God made us that way and he created tears for our benefit.
  • HANDS: how the Bible describes God’s hand being so large that he measures and holds the oceans in that little “cup” area. And that because of this, “no one can pluck” one of God’s own, out of His hand!
  • HOPE: For a person who has committed their life to Jesus, God says that there is nothing that can separate that person from His love — NOTHING — not even suicide! This is a reason to have great HOPE!

After sharing these thoughts, Robin read a beautiful poem (I was so proud of her!) and then members of Steve’s family lit some candles in his memory. Then many friends and family shared memories and stories from Steve’s life. We laughed and cried a lot together.

At one point, Steve’s oldest daughter Briana shared how important it had been for her to hear the kind of friend Steve had been to so many people. You could tell that it had deeply moved her, and had encouraged her in a very deep and hurting place.

I shared a few thoughts and a memory too. All I could remember last week was a time when I let Steve down, and how much I regretted that. But I also said how much I appreciated what Wayne had shared, and that I knew it was all true and that I am convinced I will see Steve again some day.

We ended that sharing time with a recording made by Steve’s “Best Man” – John Hanrahan – of a song that Steve had been writing shortly before his death. It was called, “It’s All About Love.” Then we put on music by “The Beatles” as we continued celebrating his life together into the evening.

Some might ask if it was worth all the work, and why you would actually plan time to go over things that are painful and that dredge up hurts, darkness and discouragement?

I guess I would answer it this way.

Is it better to stay at home feeling lonely, hurting and discouraged as you inevitably come to that “one-year” anniversary mark? Or, is it better to enter into relationships with others who may be feeling similarly, and at least share that hurt and pain? I think sharing pain in the context of “community” and being real about it, is far better than staying separated and feeling it all alone. I think there is a deeper kind of healing to be experienced this way, than what one might hope for by keeping it all inside.

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” — St. Paul writing in the book of Romans 8:38-39