Tag Archives: friendship

A Greek Birthday Celebration

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We had a great time last night at the Greek Islands Restaurant in Chicago, Illinois. It was the eve of my wife’s birthday, and I had told her I wanted to take her out for a birthday dinner date. So about 6:30 PM she and our daughter got in the car with me and we drove downtown, and parked in a lot near Greektown. We walked a couple blocks toward the restaurant, and as we came to the entrance, a van pulled up at the curb, and a whole bunch of people popped out of it and yelled HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

It was our good friends from Grand Rapids, the Van Poolen family, plus our good friends the Bardwell’s. Of course I KNEW about this… but my wife didn’t! She was totally surprised and immediately engaged in greeting all our friends.

Our waiter was named Sotiris, which in Greek means “Savior.” (For an interesting connection between this name (root: Soter) and the Christian “fish (ichthus)” symbol, read this blog post). He was great! We ordered wine, saganaki (flaming cheese), calamari, plus all kinds of fresh seafood and traditional Greek dishes. He picked up that this was a special occasion for us, and really made us feel that way. After dinner, he also brought cake to my wife and sang the traditional “happy birthday” song from Greece to her – after asking my permission! :-) He had a great voice!

At another point, after witnessing a tender moment between my wife and I, Sotiris came to me and asked how long we have been married, to which I replied, “this is our 29th year.” He told me that he had been married about a year, and congratulated me on our long marriage. He said his parents were married 53 years before his Mom passed, and that he hoped to do the same. He said, “you look very happy!” I replied… “That’s because I am!”

We also played our traditional “Birthday Game” where 10 or more questions about the birthday person are asked of the entire table. Each person writes down their guess as to how the birthday person will answer the same question. Then we go back over the questions and hear the birthday persons answers, scoring ourselves as to how well we matched. The winner was a Van Poolen, who scored a 10.5 out of 11 questions! My score was 8.5.

We had a great time! There is no better place outside of home to celebrate family, life, friendship and all good things than in a great Greek restaurant!

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

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Shmuel is the name of the boy in the striped pajamas. He is an eight year old Jewish boy in a Nazi concentration camp. Bruno, the eight-year old son of the camp commandant meets Shmuel across the electric barbed wire fence. The film, based upon the book by John Boyne, uses this powerful story to explore issues of innocence, friendship, good, evil and what it means to be human.

As Catherine Barsotti and Robert Johnston say in their helpful book, Finding God in the Movies: 33 Films of Reel Faith,“ Successful movies do not merely transplant us somewhere new; they inspire us to become one with one of the characters.” And this film certainly does that. We look at the Holocaust through the eyes of an 8-year-old whose country and family would have him believe that the Jews were enemies and were getting what they deserved. But Bruno’s childlike identification with Shmuel tells him otherwise. — Breakpoint.org

This is a very powerful, emotionally gripping story with implications for our current culture and world situation. I encourage any adult who reads this blog post to go see the film, or read the book (it is not for children!)… then sit down over coffee with some friends and have an open discussion about it. There is a discussion guide available below to help.

Watch the movie trailer (above)

Book: Boy In the Striped Pajamas (Movie Tie-in Edition)

Discussion Guide: The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

May we never forget.

One Year Reflections on Steve

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Steve Meyer and Randy BirkeyIt has now been just over a year since I lost one of my best friends – Steve Meyer. He took his own life on September 14, 2005. I miss him.

About 2 months ago, I started talking with his wife Robin, and his sister Carol, about the possibility of a family and friends gathering to celebrate Steve’s life, to honor his memory and to share what he meant to us.

This event was held at our home and yard this past Saturday, September 16th. We had beautiful weather to be out in the backyard, and maybe 50-70 people came over the course of the time from 3 PM – 10 PM.

At one point around 6 PM, we had asked another friend of ours, Wayne Kuna, to share some thoughts from God’s Word, and to facilitate an open time of sharing stories and memories.

Wayne shared three main points about God’s character related to us and to Steve:

  • TEARS: It’s OK to shed a few. God made us that way and he created tears for our benefit.
  • HANDS: how the Bible describes God’s hand being so large that he measures and holds the oceans in that little “cup” area. And that because of this, “no one can pluck” one of God’s own, out of His hand!
  • HOPE: For a person who has committed their life to Jesus, God says that there is nothing that can separate that person from His love — NOTHING — not even suicide! This is a reason to have great HOPE!

After sharing these thoughts, Robin read a beautiful poem (I was so proud of her!) and then members of Steve’s family lit some candles in his memory. Then many friends and family shared memories and stories from Steve’s life. We laughed and cried a lot together.

At one point, Steve’s oldest daughter Briana shared how important it had been for her to hear the kind of friend Steve had been to so many people. You could tell that it had deeply moved her, and had encouraged her in a very deep and hurting place.

I shared a few thoughts and a memory too. All I could remember last week was a time when I let Steve down, and how much I regretted that. But I also said how much I appreciated what Wayne had shared, and that I knew it was all true and that I am convinced I will see Steve again some day.

We ended that sharing time with a recording made by Steve’s “Best Man” – John Hanrahan – of a song that Steve had been writing shortly before his death. It was called, “It’s All About Love.” Then we put on music by “The Beatles” as we continued celebrating his life together into the evening.

Some might ask if it was worth all the work, and why you would actually plan time to go over things that are painful and that dredge up hurts, darkness and discouragement?

I guess I would answer it this way.

Is it better to stay at home feeling lonely, hurting and discouraged as you inevitably come to that “one-year” anniversary mark? Or, is it better to enter into relationships with others who may be feeling similarly, and at least share that hurt and pain? I think sharing pain in the context of “community” and being real about it, is far better than staying separated and feeling it all alone. I think there is a deeper kind of healing to be experienced this way, than what one might hope for by keeping it all inside.

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” — St. Paul writing in the book of Romans 8:38-39

The Death of Steve

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Steve Meyer Playing GuitarMy friend Steve Meyer, died on September 14, 2005.

His wife Robin, came home from work and found him in their basement. He had taken his own life.

I was called shortly thereafter, and immediately went to their home. It was an emotionally brutal evening and night. The police were there doing an “investigation.” Later the Medical Examiner’s office came and took Steve’s body to the county morgue in order to perform an autopsy the next day.

All dear Robin could do was keep asking the “Why?” questions, over and over. It was the saddest, heart wrenching scene I have witnessed in recent years.

I met Steve in 1997. He was running for Republican Committeeman for Oak Park Township, in Illinois, where we both live. I helped him with the graphic design of his campaign literature, as well as building him a campaign website. This was very “ahead of the times” back then.

Steve was a very warm and friendly guy. He would give you the shirt off of his back if you needed it. He was a conservative Republican in the style of Ronald Reagan, his political hero. We worked together for many years in local, county and state politics.

Steve and I also shared an interest in music – playing guitar to be specific. Steve loved the Beatles and the blues. I preferred country, folk and rock – but we made it work spending hours “jamming” together.