It has now been just over a year since I lost one of my best friends – Steve Meyer. He took his own life on September 14, 2005. I miss him.

About 2 months ago, I started talking with his wife Robin, and his sister Carol, about the possibility of a family and friends gathering to celebrate Steve’s life, to honor his memory and to share what he meant to us.

This event was held at our home and yard this past Saturday, September 16th. We had beautiful weather to be out in the backyard, and maybe 50-70 people came over the course of the time from 3 PM – 10 PM.

At one point around 6 PM, we had asked another friend of ours, Wayne Kuna, to share some thoughts from God’s Word, and to facilitate an open time of sharing stories and memories.

Wayne shared three main points about God’s character related to us and to Steve:

• TEARS: It’s OK to shed a few. God made us that way and he created tears for our benefit.
• HANDS: how the Bible describes God’s hand being so large that he measures and holds the oceans in that little “cup” area. And that because of this, “no one can pluck” one of God’s own, out of His hand!
• HOPE: For a person who has committed their life to Jesus, God says that there is nothing that can separate that person from His love — NOTHING — not even suicide! This is a reason to have great HOPE!

After sharing these thoughts, Robin read a beautiful poem (I was so proud of her!) and then members of Steve’s family lit some candles in his memory. Then many friends and family shared memories and stories from Steve’s life. We laughed and cried a lot together.

At one point, Steve’s oldest daughter Briana shared how important it had been for her to hear the kind of friend Steve had been to so many people. You could tell that it had deeply moved her, and had encouraged her in a very deep and hurting place.

I shared a few thoughts and a memory too. All I could remember last week was a time when I let Steve down, and how much I regretted that. But I also said how much I appreciated what Wayne had shared, and that I knew it was all true and that I am convinced I will see Steve again some day.

We ended that sharing time with a recording made by Steve’s “Best Man” – John Hanrahan – of a song that Steve had been writing shortly before his death. It was called, “It’s All About Love.” Then we put on music by “The Beatles” as we continued celebrating his life together into the evening.

Some might ask if it was worth all the work, and why you would actually plan time to go over things that are painful and that dredge up hurts, darkness and discouragement?

I guess I would answer it this way.

Is it better to stay at home feeling lonely, hurting and discouraged as you inevitably come to that “one-year” anniversary mark? Or, is it better to enter into relationships with others who may be feeling similarly, and at least share that hurt and pain? I think sharing pain in the context of “community” and being real about it, is far better than staying separated and feeling it all alone. I think there is a deeper kind of healing to be experienced this way, than what one might hope for by keeping it all inside.

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” — St. Paul writing in the book of Romans 8:38-39